Tyranthesaurus Rex

After reading one of my recent posts, my wife lovingly informed me that I write too well. Actually that's my spin on it; she was saying that I write like I'm trying too hard to sound intelligent and well-educated. She says using words that "most people" don't know is off-putting, and that more people would enjoy reading my posts if I wrote for the masses.
At first, I took the criticism well (I think). I asked for more information about what she meant--what parts of the post in question were too... wordy. (I was going to say verbose, loquacious, or garrulous, but let it never be said that I don't listen to my wife). She explained how she thought I could improve a particular passage, and just like I did back when my mom used to proofread my English papers, I diligently took to the task of re-writing. After polishing out the rough patches - or perhaps, dulling down the polished patches?? - I asked her to re-read it. She said it was pretty much the same, because I had left in two of my favorite alliterative phrases. She doesn't like alliteration, whereas I'm pretty sure I have a psychological condition that compels me to use it.
I was very upset by this rebuff, not only because I'd put considerable effort into taking her advice, but because writing in "my voice" is very important to me. Sure, maybe I'm trying a little too hard to sound like a seasoned arts critic, but that's the kind of writing that appeals to me--the kind that offers a challenging read, that really forces me to think in order to wrap my brain around the writer's point of view. It makes me a little jealous, but I don't even mind if I have to consult the dictionary once or twice. It's a learning experience for me, and I guess being out of college makes me crave those opportunites to flex my mind a little, especially since my current job provides no such exercise.
So I suppose the question is, should a blog be more like a journal, written in a conversational style (like this post, and all of my wife's post), or can I pretend that I am a seasoned arts critic when I write about movies, music, TV, or any other pop culture topics. My defense to my wife was that this is my blog and it should be a reflection of me, but upon reflection, I decided I don't want a blog full of well-crafted essays that no one will read. Blogs are great for getting your thoughts out, but I'm finding the more I do it that what's really fun is getting feedback, sharing ideas, and connecting with people. And since everyone (including me) loves my wife's posts and can't wait to read the next one, maybe I should keep listening to her. It's served me well in the past, that much I know...
which is why I resolved the argument over writing styles with a gesture most magnanimous (look it up, ya lazy bum). To show her I could be good-natured about the whole thing, I replaced one of my so-called fancy phrases with a term from professional wrestling: "acerbic wit" became "sarcastic smack-down"
How's that for writing for the masses?

All-encompassingly

If the name Mitch Hedberg means anything to you, check out the most recent post on my other blog, Calculus for Free Dummies. It's a brief sampling of some of Mitch's jokes that were not included on either of his CDs, shared by fans who heard them live. Prepare for tears and sore face muscles.

If you've never heard the name, read the other post about him on the same blog, or visit his website at mitchhedberg.net.

Orthodoxy in Dallas and beyond

Two excellent articles were published recently in the Dallas Morning News regarding the growing trend of Protestant Christians being drawn to the timeless authenticity of the Orthodox faith. To summarize would not do them justice, and posting them here would likely be some sort of copyright infringement, so please check them out at www.dallasnews.com

I would welcome any comments, questions, or requests for more material.

Ocean's Dozen't

I'm a big fan of Ocean's Eleven, and really any movie like it--smooth characters, stylish clothes, sexy cons--the kind of movie that's so cool it makes you feel cool for liking it. Yes, I realize how pathetic that sounds, but I own my lameness. So naturally I was as stoked about Ocean's Twelve as the rest of the pathetic movie-obsessed public. I saw it in the theater and had a great time. I wasn't really sure I caught everything, but I considered it that much cooler for having out-smarted me. I was surprised to read several negative opinions by reviewers who had loved the first one. They said it felt phoned-in, lazy, less like a movie and more like a bunch of movie stars romping around Europe acting cool and expecting regular Americans to be enthralled by nothing more than their transcontinental coolness. I can understand that point of view, and I partially agree with it, but none of that diminished my enjoyment of the movie. In fact, it was that very quality of breezy nonchalance that I was looking for. That's a big part of why I go to the movies and why I love that kind of movie. I am thoroughly taken in by George Clooney and Brad Pitt exchanging witty repartee in designer suits on the deck of an Italian villa. As I say, I can understand why jaded movie critics would be inclined to roll their eyes and say "get over yourselves," but the average movie-goer gets vicarious enjoyment watching movie stars do what only they can do, even if we know it's not real. Lisa Schwartzbaum of Entertainment Weekly said it felt like the real fun was had behind the scenes; this just made me more stoked for the DVD release.
Then I rented the DVD... not a single special feature. no behind the scenes making-of doc, no interviews with cast and crew, no featurettes on costume, set design, cinematography. zilch. unless you count the theatrical trailer, which is really just proof that Ms. Schwartzbaum was right. apparently the filmmakers did think movie fans would be more than satisfied watching beautiful faces in beautiful locales, and not care enough to wonder where the plot twists came from, or even if they make sense logically and fit together chronologically. On that last point I'm still not sure after two viewings.
But I will figure it out, because of course I bought it anyway. I haven't opened it yet, so maybe the copies for purchase are loaded with special features, but I work for Blockbuster and I've never heard of that, so I doubt it. Come to think of it, the only other big-budget movie I know of with no special features on the DVD is The Terminal, which was also released for sale as a super-deluxe edition that you had to shell out $30 for if you wanted to see how the film was made. And now that I mention it, The Terminal was another sub-standard movie that seemed like it would have been more interesting behind the camera than it was in front. Maybe this is a new tactic for smart directors and actors who know that their latest work is fluff: load the fun stuff onto a special edition and charge an extra $10 for "backstage access". Now I feel even more had.
But this basically sums up my unhealthy love affair with movies. I know I'm being taken advantage of, but I just keep coming back for more. The allure of that glamorous lifestyle is a powerful force, even when the movie isn't as glitzy as Ocean's Twelve. just the thought of getting paid millions to play dress-up, essentially, is enough to make me reach for the already-thin wallet so that I can own a piece of that experience, on a shiny new disc in a glossy package. My wife wonders why I insist on buying movies that I'll likely never watch. that's a big part of it. of course there are other reasons that I love movies and spend my Blockbuster money on them, but that's another blog for another time. Right now I have to go set up my third viewing, because why the heck did they need that whole lookeeloo scheme with Julia Roberts?!?

American Idle

Like many good-intentioned families, mine has tried several times in the past to go without TV, based on a well-founded feeling that so much of it is trash, and that even the best of it is ultimately a distraction from what we really ought to be doing. So far we have yet to succeed for any length of time worth mentioning; we tend to go back and forth between asceticism and addiction. I must confess that currently we are leaning toward the latter.
We have three VHS tapes in our home right now, one labeled "Monday", one "Tuesday", one "Wednesday". These are the days (nights, actually) when the tube successfully sucks us in. Due to work and church committments, we usually end up taping "our shows", and woe be unto she who forgets to press record at the appointed hour, or uses the wrong tape. The rundown: Monday-24, Tuesday-American Idol and House, & Wednesday-LOST, Alias, and maybe the new show Eyes, if it stays as sharp (and relatively clean) as it's been. Having now forthcomingly confessed these obsessions, I offer my opinion on the current season of each.

24

I am concerned that they are phasing out Jack. Although it's impossible to imagine this show without Keifer Sutherland's central character, there seems to be way too much focus on the office environment of CTU and other secondary characters. Case in point: the waste of space (and airtime) that is Edgar Stiles. Would anyone disagree that Chloe is already one tech-dork too many? Everytime the camera cuts to "Edgah" and he starts in with that Rocky meets Rainman rambling, I think, "why can't we be seeing what Jack is doing with this particular chunck of real time?" Even if he's just driving from one place to the next, I'd rather watch him brood menacingly than hear about who's backing up protocols for whom. It really feels like Jack is far less the driving force this season than he was in the previous three, and if they try to turn this into a CSI-type "ensemble drama" focusing on CTU, I will have to C-U-T them from my viewing schedule. because if 24 has taught us anything, it's that time is precious.

American Idol

I am prepared to make an official prediction: the final two will be Vonzell and Constantine, and Hellboy will take the title. I never would have said that before this week's show, but there is no more denying that the guy has chops. True, he's as creepy as a Michael Jackson slumber party, but I think he's working on that. He didn't make dirty-style love to the camera quite as many times this week, although I think he was just looking at the wrong camera most of the time, much to the relief of those home audience members who have eyes. but as Randy would say, he worked it out, doing justice to a melodically challenging BeeGees song. and he has the confidence reflective of his self-proclaimed "older brother" status, not to mention lots of performance experience. now if he'll just stop singing like he's thinking about how well he "performs", maybe people can start letting their daughters out of the house again. if he does win, however, I think his first album will bomb. not be "da bomb", but bomb. I just don't see him - or his so-called band - coming up with 10 or 12 good songs. unless he does a cover album to get himself established, I think he's headed for a Trivial Pursuit card.
Vonzell or Carrie would be my votes to win, but they're both too plain vanilla and chocolate--no racial implications intended. They are both sweet but dull, consistent but unmemorable... and I think if either of them does an album, it will be a huge success. I'm not sure why I think it would work this way - niche marketing, I guess - but I can totally imagine either of them on the radio while Con' is flashing his double-chin grin in a Vegas nightclub.

House

The second best new show this season, after LOST, and the best mix of drama and comedy since the original Office. And it just so happens to star a British actor, whose character is not unlike Ricky Gervais' Office manager David Brent: a boss you'd hate to love. Hugh Laurie's Dr. House is a misanthropic maverick with a scalpel-sharp mind (and tongue) who dissects medical mysteries like an honors student in biology class. He loves the challenge of problem-solving, but despite his efforts to remain cynically clinical, he can't help being drawn into the personal stories of his patients and co-workers. The show thrives on exploring these relationships, and it succeeds where ER has been failing by keeping it light. or, as light as leprosy, anthrax, and cancerous tumors could be. House's smack-down sarcasm, brilliantly delivered by Laurie, is a shot in the arm (I'm done with the medical metaphors now, I promise) for the procedural drama format. I'm really excited to see where this show goes. (memo to writers: now that money-bags is gone, bring back Jennifer Morrison's Cameron! the tension between her and House was an unexpected treat. and she's got a great name.

LOST

I have only two things to say:
(1) Yes, I'm pretty sure that printing it in all caps is the way the network does it, for dramatic effect.
(2) Speaking of networks, J.J. Abrams deserves his own.

okay three:
(3) best-looking female cast of any show, ever? just asking.

Alias

A close second for the aforementioned B-LFC award, Alias has done it "yet again". Just when I'm ready to say that this season is the weakest yet, they create Arvin Clone, a.k.a. Marvin Sloane, Rolling Sloane, and my contribution, The Sloane Ranger. Sheer maddening brilliance, which sums up this whole series from wig one. I will be buying these boxed sets until doomsday... which brings us back to the phasing out of Jack. PLEASE, RAMBALDI AND/OR MARSHALL--SAVE SYDNEY'S DAD! Victor Garber has been a key piece of this ever-twisting rubrics cube, and his apparently imminent demise has me seriously wondering if they'd go that far. It's the kind of thing that such a seriously demanding show would ask of its viewers, but could Syd survive the loss of both parents (assuming Irina is really dead)? The ill-fated goon in this week's episode said something about eternal life, so I'm holding out for a miracle. considering how many people Jack has resurrected over the past three years, one can hope... hmm. three years, self-sacrifice, power over death. if this show gets Christological, it'll deserve a college course. maybe that education of mine will come in handy after all.


thank you for tuning in. this concludes my broadcast say.